As some of you have read, I’m currently awaiting my fiancée visa for the UK. This is our third time waiting on visa decisions and it’s the worst, most anxiety filled time just waiting for someone to give you a yes or no. The first two times, Mr. Loch Jess applied within his company, as they sponsored him for a work visa in the USA, paid the fees and to expedite the application. Both times, he was rejected. We then decided that it’s easiest and best for me to move to England and apply as a fiancée so that we can get married. Here are some of the most common things we’ve had to deal with since applying that we are both very tired of.
I. “This whole process is just ridiculous! JUST GET MARRIED.”
This is said to us almost daily, and usually by the same people. Even after explaining the process over and over again, it doesn’t seem to stick for most of them. Was it frustrating that Mr. LJ couldn’t get a visa for the US? Yes, it was. Are we as angry as you are? Not really. Everyone usually throws their arms up and say, “Why was HE rejected? He’s not a terrorist.”
LOL they never said he was. Want to know the best way to understanding how work visas are handled? First off, there are dozens, or even dozen upon dozen, different work visas to choose from. If the right one isn’t chosen for the field he’s working in…rejected. If he doesn’t have the proper requirements or experience to fill that roll…rejected. Think of it like applying to college. If one person is accepted, another person isn’t, so they choose carefully. Or so you think.
And yeah sure, we can get married. But it doesn’t mean he can stay. He still needs a visa to STAY in the country. If it were that easy to enter the country, everyone would just find someone to marry until they got their green card and then divorce later on.
II. “When are you leaving? Do you have a status update on your visa?”
This is coming from the goodness of my friends hearts. But if I receive this question one more time, I’m going to lose it and burn all of the bridges. It seems like it’s everyday, on repeat. “Have you gotten your visa? When is your official move date?”
Dude. First off, you’ll 100% know when I’ve received my visa because you’ll either:
A.) Hear me screaming from hundreds of miles away.
B.) It will be all over social media due to my family jumping up and down for joy.
C.) I’ll tell you the second I receive it.
When I tell them this, they say, “Well when do you leave?”
I. CANT. LEAVE. UNTIL. I. HAVE. MY. VISA.
“Can you call them to ask?”
You mean call the United Kingdom government, demand an update on one of thousands of other visas, and actually expect an answer? You’re cute. It’s not like I can get a hold of the immigration officer looking over my folder and have a one-on-one with them over the phone.
III. “Well why don’t you just…”
Imma stop you right there. Don’t you dare try to give me advice on a subject you know nothing about, nor have you experienced. Mr. LJ and I have been dealing with this for nearly two years. We know how it works.
IV. A State of Limbo
I’m currently jobless and living in my aunt and uncle’s spare room. I left my job the end of July because I thought I was going to be off to England by then. It is now middle of August and I’m still here. My days are filled with watching TV, eating, maybe taking a shower, going to the gym just so I don’t get bed sores, and playing the Sims because why not create the life I want and can’t have yet to make myself feel better?
I’m in a wild state of depression and anxiety, and my thoughts are consumed by emails and UPS tracking numbers. I actually feel myself slipping into insanity. Each morning, as I slowly wake from my slumber, I have a semi-dream (a dream you’re having when you’re still kind of awake and kind of sleeping) that I either read an email from UK Visas & Immigration, got a phone call from them, or received a text message with the delivery date of my UPS package that should contain said visa. I jolt up out of bed thinking this actually happened only to be disappointed the moment I open my phone.
The only thing that keeps me going is talking with Mr. LJ about all of the great things we are going to do when we are finally together and this whole process is over. We talk about the trips we are going to take, our future home with our future dog, and this upcoming Christmas we can finally spend together decorating and starting our own traditions. THIS. This is the only thing that keeps us both leveled and balance after a mini freakout every day.
Go hug your SO’s today. They deserve a little extra love.