December, in a nutshell

It’s been a minute since I’ve said hello, so HELLOOOOOO.

December was a busy month, as I’m sure it was for all of you. I’ve started a job, reluctantly spent money and decorated our flat, got a dog, and found out my husband is a stalker. So this has been me all month long:

Let’s start with the job first.

It’s just “okay”…

I hate when people ask me how the new job is going because then I either have to act all excited and that I freakin’ love it, or they can totally tell I’m lying and I’m slowly dying inside. I’m not a very good liar.

But I always feel this way when I start a new job and it’s mostly my anxiety talking. I get this irrational fear that everyone hates me and thinks I’m stupid, so in order to make up for it, I ramble on about dumb things to make conversation and now they just think I’m weird when they probably didn’t have much of an opinion about me in the first place.

I do have one particular person I’m not too fond of, and her name is Nina. I’m not even sure if she’s my boss but she has the personality and demeanour of someone who could be my boss. If I make a mistake, which WILL happen since I’ve only been here a few weeks, she kind of freaks out and says, “Why? Why did you do that!?” Which. I. Hate. I really dislike when people approach employees like that. There are so many other ways to correct someone.

There’s also quite a few rich people who come in here, since it’s a member’s only club, and they are a bag of dicks. My apologies for any English people out there reading this, but I’ve come across way too many horrible rich folk in the North East part of England and it’s driving me nuts. I asked my husband about this, and he agreed, since Newcastle is made up of the working class, the rich people tend to think they are better than everyone else and act like assholes. I’ve been around my fair share of rich families in the US, and I was either really lucky in the people I’ve met, or Americans are nicer.

Also, it seems I’m one of the few employees that actually come across annoyed or “mean” people. I brought this up with one of my managers, and he said, “You know, I hate to say this, and I could be totally wrong, but maybe it’s because you’re American…” The thought had crossed my mind but I didn’t want to be THAT person who thinks everyone hates them because of where they come from. It was nice to hear the validation though.

Now, onto the Christmas bit…

Since it was our very first Christmas together, we definitely wanted to decorate but at the same time, I was dragging my feet to do it. The one thing I hate about Christmas is putting up all of the decorations only to take it all down a month later. I also don’t like Christmas music, or many Christmas movies with the exception of Elf and A Christmas Story.

I suffered through putting up the tree, untangling the lights which took over an hour, and very happily tore it all down on the 30th so I could squeeze in our new IKEA arm charm.

Our dog is the cutest demon ever…

We finally got a puppy! Her name is Phoebe and she’s the most adorable, scariest, lovable cocker spaniel ever. I definitely got the puppy blues in the beginning, similar to postpartum after you have a baby. I don’t think Mr. LJ and I slept a full night since we got her. Between her constant need for play time, her nipping and chewing, house training, along with random bursts of diarrhea, I felt like I was losing my mind.

I also discovered that nearly every article you come across about training a puppy is total bullshit and once I realized that I’m allowed to give myself a break and not freak out over every little thing, my mental state has been much better. Every article is a “do or die” situation, and it’s definitely not. We took Phoebe to the dog park one time, and she was off playing with other doggo’s and every owner was just awing over Phoebe (because obviously) and I mentioned how she’s still learning fetch. She likes the concept until she gets the toy and won’t give it back. If I try to take it from her, she will growl in a “bitch, back off of my toy” kind of way. One owner said, “You better get a handle on that now before she’s an adult because it could turn aggressive.”

So apparently, my dog is going to turn into a vicious killer because she doesn’t know how to play fetch? JESUS CHRIST. The amount of unsolicited advice when it comes to dogs from total strangers is astounding.

And finally, my husband, Joe Goldberg.

To be honest, this is just good old-fashioned creepin’ so we’re not total lunatics, just curious. Remember a while back, I wrote about an American girl who ghosted me when I tried to reach out? Let’s call her Vicky. Apparently Vicky has hung out and basically became besties with my sister-in-law, which makes this whole situation even weirder.

A blogger friend, Paul from The Captain’s Speech, mentioned that Vicky may be the type of person who likes her social media presence, and has a certain persona as opposed to making actual connections, which after looking at her instagram, makes sense. She posted pics of her new place in England, captioning it, “Love my little English cottage”. It’s a picture of her front door, and inside. As an American, and you say English Cottage, this comes to mind:

I immediately think of Kate Winslet’s home in The Holiday. This is definitely not what they actually live in. After creepin’ some more, we found pics of the actual flat, yes FLAT. APARTMENT. And it’s your standard, run of the mill, terraced flat that you see everywhere in England. I mean, it’s nice, I’ll give you that, but there’s definitely a layer of fakeness to the whole thing. On Christmas Eve, Mr. LJ and I were out together and he starts showing me Vicky’s instagram story. I nearly screamed and said, “Babe! You do realize that people can see who looks at their story right?” His face turned so pale I thought he died. My husband doesn’t really do social media, so he had no clue. I began laughing hysterically and said, “Well, if she didn’t think we were psycho before, she definitely does now.”

2 thoughts on “December, in a nutshell”

  1. Oh my gosh, why do people lie on social media like that? What’s the point of calling your apartment a cottage when it’s not? LOL. So funny your hubs didn’t know others could see he watched their story.

    Congrats on the new puppy! People love giving unsolicited advice. Phoebe is just a baby who isn’t ready to share her toys or learn fetch. 😛

    Oh & sorry about Nina at work. She sounds like the worst.

    Liked by 1 person

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